A while ago, I was but then I felt something that ravished every damn drop of happiness that I feel. I don't know, I just felt... unimportant. I know that I SHOULD be happy because it's my birthday but, damn! I wish I could. It's like, it's not really my birthday. I felt that they just prepared foods just to say that I have a birthday celebration but deep inside, I know, they don't fucking care at all. They didn't even sing "Happy Birthday" for me. What the hell is that? That hurts you know. Feeling that way on my special day.
I felt that they are just pretending. Pretending that they feel for me, that they care, that they love me. How can they do that to me. I wouldn't feel this way if they didn't make me feel like it, right? They always do that, making me feel like bull when I'm supposed to feel important. Why? What did I do to make them that angry with me? Ganun ba ako kasamang anak? That no matter what I do, it's always not enough, always shit, always nothing.
Some people wished me a happy birthday at Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter and you know what? They felt more sincere to me than what I had in dinner just a while ago. It was a relief that RJ was there. I've never felt so thankful to her. I realized how good it is to have her even if sometimes she is a major pain in the ass. Hell! She is the only one who even cared to give me something for my birthday. An Apple. It made me smile :)
And now, I feel like a total idiot. For expecting. I feel like Myrtle. For assuming. Expecting that they will make me feel special and important and assuming that they really do care for me. Some times, I loathe myself for being a a total idiot. now, I'm certain that they really loathe me and I will never have that same affection they give to my siblings. I tried to go down stairs, you know, maybe I was wrong but now I know, I wasn't. they didn't even talk to me! Wow, now that's a news flash Misha. Happy Birthday!
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